If I Were McCain.........

I'd tell all the Red States that being gay's ok.......only when you're a sexy female kissing/licking another female..........

I'd thank God every day i'm alive and that my respirator continues to work and that Viagras still in production..............

I'd get at Condoleeza and see if her assistance is as good as her Uncle Tom koonery...............

I'd call Baracks children "nappy headed hoes".................I'm gonna lose anyway...................

I'd go to an inner city ghetto and try to understand a niggas struggle.................prayin i make it out alive.....................

Get my first blow job..............

I'd blog all day and post on SuperFuture.com till 3am.........................

Join the mile high club..................and pray i dont get catch a stroke (pause)....................

Prepare for my Gone Fishin pics with Kenny and Charles ............

Understand that my penis pump is not broke, malfunctionin nor has a glitch and finally realize i'm white this is what i'm gonna have to poke with.................

The only way i'll win presidency is if i finally agree with people and say "damn that nigga bush was fuckin up"............

Make a list of all the fine women in the world over 50 and start knockin em down..............starting with Farrah.....................