6.20.2008

Things Our Candidates Do...........

Senator Obama................
Boinks Michelle before every speech............(why you think hes soooooo calm (pause))
Watches The Boondocks to take notes for his speeches...........
Checks NikeTalk to see what new scheme the pilgrims have in store for him.............
Has KFC waitin in the green room............ehhhhh
Shows up 20mins late to press conferences........his excuse is his baby mama had the car prior.......
Says Cracker 100 times before during and after all speeches.....
Asks Diddy what suit should he wear..........
Calls Hillary a Nappy Headed Ho every chance he gets off air.........


Senator McCain.....................

Wear sweater vests during the sweltering months of Summer........

Go to breakfast at 7am eat lunch at 11am and have dinner at 3pm just to sleep at 7pm......

Maintain a healthy comb over..........

Say nigger 100 times before bed.............he's probably watchin Barack on CNN or Fox News......

Call not peeing on his-self an all nighter........

Take meds every time Sportscenters on........(comes on from 5am to 1pm, 6pm and 11pm)

Wonder if todays the day............(to see the reaper)

My Fave SneakerHeads.......

Although the term "sneakerhead/collector" has lost 89% of its zest these cats epitomize where i wanna be in the sneaker game later in life.................hopefully me buyin shoes all the time is a phase and i'll get back to my regular life when i'm old..................doubt it

Bobbito Garcia.................



DJ AM..........Adam I admire you (pause)




Chi McBride..............CG XIs 2nd best XI colorway, eff a Space Jam





Super Collector Clark Kent.......




Joey Crack...................

Things Men Dont Wanna Hear from Women.........

Heres what my Ns dont wanna hear from you women out there.....after each comment i'll place my response..................


"Oh looks arent really thay important....."
(Good cuz you ugly as hell)

"I dont do that anymore...... I'm saved...."
(Saved??!?!? you was just screamin God last night)
"I like you as a friend if that makes up for anything"
(Thank god cuz if my GF saw you sweatin me yiikes)
"Who do you think I am your ex-girlfriend or something"
(Naw shes not real messy, shes sure to make that disappear)
"Thats not goin nowhere near my mouth"
(Damn you said the same shit about your ass)
"Do i look fat"
(Why!?!?!?!? are you gettin skinny)
"Here hold my purse while i try this on"
(ha dont sat it down cuz i'm bout to walk away and you bogon get robbed)

"Do you think shes cuter than me"
(Yes unless youre implying 3some)

"What do you think of....(insert whatever)"
(I think i should be with the blonde behind the register)


"Its my period but you can still..........ya know"
(insert my sour face)

"Me and my girls are goin to (insert club name here)"
(Hope you dont run into my side b!tch)

"You should suck my toes"
(Right after you suck my...............)

"I'm pregnant..................i'm not sure that its yours tho?!?!?!"
(I'm not sure whether to punch you in the throat or shake the shit outta you)

"Is this your car??????"
(Bitch do you have a license......)

"I've filed a restraining order"
(Good cause you cant cook)
((Hopefully someone gets that joke))

The Hulk..........


So we went and saw The Hulk today pretty good movie...........but see i'm gonna talk about everything but the movie......See we get there round 420 and we get good midsection seats, and like most Ns i know, i get comfortable and rest my InfraRed Am90s (plug) on the seats in front of me......... 10mins rides by and these two motherfuckin pilgrims come out the woodworks a la Michael Jacksons Thriller and sit right in front of me, one dude got the mf'in audacity to look like back like "why your feet on my seat"............anywho the movie comes and goes (pause) and as we leavin we plot to see Kung Fu Panda, as soon as we get ready to go to the bathroom Ns is Atlanta Hawkin, these minimum wage Ns are takin their job too seriously ready to snipe at all costs...............damn i really wanted to see an animal beat up people, guess i'll have to settle for watchin When Animals Attack..................
A deer attack a man - The most popular videos are here
I aint seen a white man take a hit like that since Aikman retired..............

6.19.2008

They Shoulda Used a Condom...........

I dont care if you love or hate this post, i was dyin laughin when i thought of it.......it was originally gonna be titled Your Mother Shoulda Swallowed, but i'm already losin friends as is so........oh the Rihanna post every time i see and read it i die laughin shits too true.............but anyways Parents Who Shoulda Used a Condom........


-George and Laura Bush......Parents of Jorge W.....dont think they had condoms during the Great Depression


-The Washingtons....parents of Plies


-Tish Finley and Billy Ray Cyrus, parents of Miley Cyrus


-The Taylors parents of Teyana Taylor


-Tyga (who cares what his parents names are)

New Fave.............

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Dont......

Dont Rihanna look like a crossed eyed Tyra Banks................


Are You A Wayne Fan................


-You're attempting to grow dreads..............
-Youre a white male that thinks anyone with dreads is the second coming (pause) of Bob Marley...................sorry to disappoint.....
-You have a vagina............yup Niggas dont like Wayne and if they do, see whats next...........
-You're in HS or you're under the age of 21..........
-You continue to purchase CDs...........
-You wear DC not knowing shit about the Brand............
-You sag your pants and wear a bandana..........
-You're searchin for Bape......true Ns dont wear Bape anymore and the ones that do have chilled out cause of Ns like Dwayne...........Even Nigo wears Ice Cream/BBC now.........
-You live south of Tennessee.............
If you can relate to any of this, then I'm sorry you stumbled upon my blog

AYO........

So now that i'm super single..........i hate being home, i was at B&N and some guy saw that i was reading HipHop news.........he just ignited some random convo talkin that "oh you think these rappers have it hard dude??? (my first thought was pause), i just graduated from William&Mary and i cant fuckin get work, my mother wont clean my apartment and my father isnt accepting any of my pleas to get a new flat screen for my dining room......"
Being the cool cat i am i said "wow" with my ehhhhhh face.........
The whole time i'm thinkin nigga you better chill out you got a tricked out Jetta, a degree and good credit, calm down...........

Check It......

Niggas That Snitch........


Tattle tellers, Narcs, dime-droppers, Curtis Jacksons, Rats, snitches its all the same..........lets take a gander at who you need to be on the look out for....................


-Niggas with ulterior motives.......i've always been weary of niggas on that "naw i'ma look out for you" shit.....hows a nigga gonna put me ahead of himself (pause)..............unselfishness FTL.......


-Niggas thats broke............ehhhh very self explanatory....


-Niggas that have multi-million dollar rap careers and recieve a year of probation for being ARRESTED hours before a Hip Hop Award show, charged with possession of three unregistered machine guns and TWO silencers in a parking lot....only to a post $3million bond.....did i mention this nigga was a felon, which means him being caught with those Taliban guns is a minimum of 5yrs clinked up.................hmmmm


-Niggas who have nothing to live for.....................and want to either get off (pause) or have a lighter sentence.........


-Niggas built up with animosity, jealousy, envy, hate, vindication, revenge, etc..... its all the same.........


6.18.2008

Am I A Shawty Lo Fan.........



Lets take a look at the symptoms........


-Do you say things 3 times.........
"...laughin at you haters like ha-ha-ha...."


-Do You ad-lib you're sentences......
"...dope boys (lets get, get, get ittttttt)...."


-Do you feel comfortable in strip clubs..............


-Are you constantly shouting out your enemies........
"....BIG Ups to ALL my HATERS....."


If you suffer from any of the symptoms you may be a Lo' fan like myself..........or ya may be Young Jeezy.........

The Real World.....

Since niggas already stole my Real World joke..................
"....you seen how many black people are on the Real World, i thought i was watchin College Hill....."
I was watchin tonights episode and they added 2 more black people.......i know white people are watchin this like "damn did negroes just kidnap our sitcom......first The View now this.......goooosh"

Mississippi......


Many.....if not all dont know i was born in the "Sipp" as i like to call it.....so as soon as DBanner hopped on the scene i was hooked.....New shish with my favorite N-I-Double-Grrrrrr NaS......."Middle Finger"

6.17.2008

Everybody Nose...........


Heres what you notice while waiting in line..............
-How close people are...............
-People staring..............
-Peoples horrible fashion sense...............
-Whos an NT member.........
-Whos a freak in the sheets...............
-Whos a pedo-bear.........
-That theres No black people (if it doesnt benefit us we aint waitin for it)
-People reading books..........preferably color codes 112s!
-How many red noses are holding spots for people....
-That you could be elsewhere ..........
-How hungry you are...........
-Who you know.........and who notices you................
-Who has an iPhone.....not a WackBerry Erin............

Ehhhhh........

The reason we didnt see this tonight................
Is because this man........

......turned into this.........


........Jesus Shuttlesworth...........................

LoveGuru..............


Ok so i recieved free tix to see the movie......so we're waitin outside the theatre (MacArthur) and its about 5:15, times passes after countless jokes towards random people, so the theatre ppl relocate us to in front of the actual theatre we'd be in......I neglected to mention that this whole shindig was sponsored by Link and CW27 so they bothered us from 6:40 til 7:25...........they threw out TShirts for/from the movie and asked nacho cheese questions to give away grab bags and refreshners ( i won a grab bag, and yelled that i was a gang member) but to the movie............the shit was "Hill-ari-ous" go see it,i think it drops Fri so............btw for the masturbators out there, the best part of the movie Meagan Goode hopping out of the pool...........

Push and Mal...........

The world would be a better place if this duo dropped a single every week................

New shish (TM ding!!!!....thats for those who saw Love Guru)

Fast Life

http://www.zshare.net/audio/13780251b0700a26/

6.16.2008

What Up AG.......

Thanks to AG (Al Gore) for endorsing Barack........
So me and the coolest kitten in all the land, went to the beach this passed Friday and as we were walkin the strip we came across this racist ass TShirt shop, they had a Tee that had Hillary on the left and Barack (with a turban on) on the right......under Hillary it said "no" and under Barack it said "HELL NO"
swear to god if the shits there when i touch home base Wed i'm LeftEye-in the shit to the ground............... (yo E that NERD is dope on a rope)

Why NaS is Better than OfficeMax

I swear this feels like I'm dedicating my site to NaS but anywho................




-Obviously this.........






.......Please study such excerpts as "Verbal Intercourse" "I Gave You Power" "NaS Is Like" "The Message" "The World Is Yours" .....
ex. "Through the lights cameras and action, glamour glitters and gold
I unfold the scroll, plant seeds to stampede the globe
When I'm deceased, by then the beast arise like yeast
to conquer peace leaving savages to roam in the streets
Live on the run, police paying me to give in my gun
Trick my Wisdom, with the system that imprisoned my son
Smoke a gold leaf I hold heat, nonchalantly
I'm grungy, but things I do is real it never haunts me
while, funny style niggaz roll in the pile
Rooster heads profile on a bus to Riker's Isle
Holdin weed inside they pussy with they minds on the pretty things in life,
props is a true thug's wife
It's like a cycle, niggaz come home, some'll go in
Do a bullet, come back, do the same shit again
From the womb to the tomb, presume the unpredictable
Guns salute life, rapidly, that's the ritual........"

......now some may say Office Max is better lyrically, cool.....but i'll be honest with you the only thing i've learned from OfficeMax (Jay) is to acquire the nicest things imaginable and to floss those items, and you may say well isnt that what you're supposed to do its like a hiphop commandment........i guess but what i've learned from NaS is to stop bullshittin with my life, be a man, learn the traps of the street and the system because they pretty much go hand and hand....provide for your seed way beyond tomorrow, next month, next year but for the future so that their safe and secure........know yourself and your history so you can be satisfied with what you see in the mirror...........we're all gods man.....imagine how powerful we'd be if we'd see that we're all kings.........





Catalogue.........Illmatic, It Was Written, I Am, Nastradamus, Stillmatic, Gods Son, Streets Disciple, Hip Hop Is Dead..............Naw i see what you're thinkin, "he has A blemish called Nastradamus"......cool if hes got blemishes then JayZ has a nasty Outbreak, OfficeMax only has a few credible albums American Gangster, The Black Album, Blueprint and ReasonableDoubt............4 outta 10 aint bad...lmao




Lady K..................self explanatory, I'm def lookin for one of my own since i found out that the one i thought was down for the cause was just the cause of my downfall...........anywho yeah Kelis Rogers another reason







And Attitude................From what I know of Son he strictly remains with the music, he aint runnin round here with a thousand sponsors, a clothing line, vodka and all that jazz....thats cool but son remains low key, he aint buying sports teams, working with every artist in the industry and all that, he's chillin.......and i love that............i think this is my favorite reason so i'm gonna end here until someones tries to son this post and say Office Max is better.................










I'm On...............

I feel like Lil Stayne should be featured, but its startin to grow on me a lil
http://www.zshare.net/audio/137043896427de96/